Favorite Fishing Joke

[SteveP]

Let's hear them.

Here's one of mine.

Local fisherman goes out once a week or so and always comes back with a bucket of fish. The local fish and game warden hears about this and decides to follow him to make sure he is fishing legally. But this guy uses a boat and the warden doesn't have one. But the warden hears he is friendly guy, so he hides his badge and asks if he can go fishing with him. "Sure" the local says. They get in the boat but the warden doesn't see a rod. "Don't need one where we're going" says the local. "There are so many fish I just need the net to scoop them up." When they finally arrive at the "spot" the warden hears a big blast and sees a water spout then dead fish all over the place. "What the hell was that!" says the warden. He turns to the local to see him holdng a stick of dynamite, which the local lights and hands to the warden. "You can't have dynamite" the warden yells. To which the local replies, "No? well then are you gonna commit suicide or are you gonna go fishin'."

Didn't say it was any good, just that it was one of my favorites. :-D

 

[tomgamber]

Not sure this qualifies as a joke but an LDS reporter I used to work with told me that when Joseph Smith and his Mormon followers crossed the last mountain and entered Utah, they were greeted by a huge freshwater lake nestled up against the foothills which would protect thier new found home from the cold north winds. One man looked up at Joseph and told him what a perfect place. There would be nothing to do here but fishing and fu&#ing...at which point they threw all the salt, they had packed, into the lake and said, "Well, there...that takes care of that.."

 

[Maurice]

This may be a little much for some to stomach so be forewarned..... :-o


Two guys go way up north into Canada on a secluded lake to do nothing but fish for a week or two. They are up at dawn each day on the lake appreciating the remoteness of the location and how they have the place to themselves. Then one day as the fog clears they see a man in a boat in their favorite spot. After a day of fishing and sharing the lake together the two motor over to him an ask where he is staying. He replies, I just got in last night, Its my honeymoon and my wife is kind enough to let me fish.

Puzzled, the one guy says, "your honeymoon. What on earth are you doing out fishing when you have a new wife in a cabin in a remote area of Canada?" The fella says...well guys, to be honest, there is a little problem...she has Gonorrhia. Taken by the response, the fellas abruptly end the meeting and motor back to camp.

The next morning, they meet the same fella on the lake in the same spot. Again after the day of fishing, they motor over and the one fella says, "Out of curiousity, you know there is more than one way to skin a cat, if you get my drift." The guy says, "yeah I know...and I appreciate your concern but you see she also has Pyorrhia. Again shocked, the guys quickly depart and again the next morning run into the same fella before daybreak. This time the two motor over in the morning and the ones says...."fella, I gotta ask....with a new wife there in the cabin, I mean you gotta be able to find some way to consemate the marriage.?" The new husband say...fellas, Ya see, she also has Diarrhea....."

Blown away, the the one anglers says, WOW, Gonorrhia, Pyorrhea, and Diarrhea....Well then I have to ask, why on earth did you marry her?"


The new husband says, "Well guys, You see, she also has worms....and you know how I LOVES ta feesch!" :lol:

 

[RLeeP]

>>Blown away, the the one anglers says, WOW, Gonorrhia, Pyorrhea, and Diarrhea....Well then I have to ask, why on earth did you marry her?"


The new husband says, "Well guys, You see, she also has worms....and you know how I LOVES ta feesch!" >>

This reminds me of the old Homer and Jethro routine from the Grand Ol' Opry:

J: "Hey Homer!"

H: "Yeah, Jethroe?"

J: "Are you gonna go fishin' today?"

H: "Yup, sure am..."

J: "You got worms?"

H: "Yup, but I'm goin' anyway........"

Need a drum roll icon...🙂

 

[tomgamber]

This has always been my favorite...

One Saturday morning he gets up early, dresses quietly, gets his lunch made, puts on his long johns, grabs his dog and goes to the garage to hook up his boat to the truck and down to the driveway he goes

Coming out of his garage the rain is pouring down: it is like a torrential downpour. There is snow and sleet mixed in with the rain. The wind is blowing at over 50mph.

Minutes later he returns to the garage. He comes back into the house. Turns the TV to the weather channel and he finds it is going to be very bad weather all day long, so he puts his boat back in the garage, quietly undresses and slips back into bed.

There he cuddles up to his wife's back, now with a different anticipation and whispers, "The weather out there is terrible". To which she sleepily replies, "Yeah, can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in it?"