I bolded my favorite WC Fields line. haha
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.
Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.
Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.
Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.
Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?
Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.
Here lies W. C. Fields. I would rather be living in Philadelphia.
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
I drink therefore I am.
I like children - fried.
I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
